By Susan Solomon Yem

Starting a new school can be intimidating to any child. When the first day of class is in the middle of the year, it can seem overwhelming for the whole family. There are strategies parents and teachers can apply to make the transition a smooth and comfortable one.

The most common reason for a child to switch schools is family relocation. However, other factors, such as changes in family structure due to divorce or death or school/child incompatibility may also motivate a move. Educators agree that there are specific challenges to starting a new school in mid-year. “It is harder to move a child after the school year has started,” says Kathy Simons, MS, co-administrator of the MIT Family Resource Center in Cambridge, Massachusetts. “It is out of sync with the child’s sense of the pattern, rhythm, and flow of the year. When school begins in September it’s ‘get acquainted’ time for both the students and the teacher. By mid-year the class is past this stage. What’s missing for the new child is the adult-directed activities around helping kids adjust. The new student must immediately move into work time.”

When Mark and Maura Lally, who had previously homeschooled their son, Justin, decided to place him in a second grade classroom, they knew it would not be easy. “Here we were placing our son into a group of kids who had worked together all year long and Justin might displace someone or disrupt the order of the class,” Maura recalls.

Teachers will sense the disruption in the classroom as Simons explains, “Some teachers may resent a new child. The classroom will be out of phase. It throws off the social order and it’s more work for them to assimilate this child into the class.”

On the other hand, there are some pluses when a new student arrives, says Patty Marquis, a licensed clinical social worker. “Sometimes the novelty of a new student is just what the classroom needs. Even though the daily routine has already been formed, when someone new comes in it breaks up the monotony.”

“We enrolled Justin in school right after spring vacation when everyone would feel new,” says Maura. “We thought it would be an easier transition for the whole class.”

Parent/Teacher Interaction

To ease the change-over some interaction between parents and teachers should occur even before the move has taken place. For children who are transferring from another school, the current teacher should be informed that a move is being contemplated as early as possible. Nancy Lauter-Klatell, an education specialist, stresses the importance of good communication between all parties. “You should be honest with the first school while you are in the process of making a decision. If you’re changing schools because of an issue of incompatibility it may be hard to go to the teacher to say this is in the best interest of your child, but you should be open with them. Parents should give the receiving school as much information as possible. The worst thing to do is drop a child into a classroom without the teacher having any prior knowledge of who he or she is.”

Simons recommends that the parents be the ones to transport old school records to the new school. “Be sure to review your child’s school records first. There may be information there that is inappropriate, unfair, or not relevant to share with the new school.”

“Parents need to take the initiative to be advocates for their kids,” adds Marquis. “Ask old teachers to talk to new teachers to give a sense of the child in the classroom. You, as the parent, should also talk to the new teacher about who your child is.” Marquis suggests that parents share information on their child’s strengths, vulnerabilities, and learning style. 

Although it is uncommon for a parent to choose which classroom their child is assigned to, Maura Lally was able to pick Justin’s class after spending time in both second grade rooms. “I didn’t let them intimidate me,” says Maura. “Even though the principal said it was the school’s choice where Justin would go, as a parent I knew how my child worked and which setting would be best for him.”

A review of the new school’s curriculum is also a good idea. “Parents should be aware that there are differences in curriculum from school to school,” says Simons. “Try to work with the school towards reasonable expectations.” An individualized plan may be necessary to bring the newest member up to date with the class. “Knowing the curriculum in advance will allay a child’s fear,” says Marquis. “And parents should do all they can to diminish their child’s fear of failing.”

Visits to the New School

Most children are nervous entering a new environment and Marquis says, “Parents should not minimize a child’s worries. Some kids worry about if everyone is going to stare at them. Are their clothes right? Do they have the right backpack?”

Experts agree that visits to the school prior to beginning classes are helpful. “One of a child’s biggest fears is getting lost,” says Marquis. “You and your child should go to school when no one else is around. Get familiar with the building.”

“You might want to bring your child to school while in session to get clear answers about classroom behavior, how kids dress, where the cafeteria is, and where to wait for the bus,” adds Simons.

A week before he entered school Justin accompanied his parents to a special event taking place in the auditorium. They stayed for an hour to help Justin begin acclimating himself to his new surroundings. “I was concerned that kids might not think Justin was cool,” says Maura, “so I bought him the same type of backpack and lunchbox as the other children had.”

Saying Goodbye

A child needs to say goodbye to the old school as a first step in adjusting to the new one. According to Simons, “If leaving the first school is rushed and proper attention is not given to saying goodbye, the child’s ability to make attachments at the new school may be interfered with.”

Lauter-Klatell recommends, “Two weeks to one month prior to the move, parents should get together with the child’s teacher or principal and ask, how will this be handled in the classroom? How will friends say goodbye? Rather than having a party I think classmates should write a story or letters the child who is leaving can take along.”

“Children will feel the loss of their old classmates deeply,” says Marquis. “In part it is a loss of their own identity. They worry that if they make new friends, they may lose their old friends. If possible, you should maintain contact with old friends in the former school.” 

First Day Jitters

Changing schools is a very significant event in a child’s life. “For some kids changing schools is wonderful,” says Marquis. “They have no baggage and they gain a new sense of self.” How well a child adapts depends on many factors. “Sometimes we forget to talk to children about the implications of this major change in their lives, “ says Lauter-Klatell. “They adjust in different ways. Children may be angry and those feelings should be validated. They may be fine in school, but they may act out at home. Parents need to be the anchors during this time and give kids coping strategies to help them feel secure.”

Justin’s entrance into his new school was heralded by the arrival of his entire family. Maura, Mark, and Justin’s sister, Leah, all escorted him into his new classroom on his first day. “We didn’t want to embarrass him,” Maura relates. “We wanted to support him.”

Children who are having difficulty adjusting may be mourning the loss of old friends and the routine of their former school. Simons describes some warning signs of trouble, “If a child has little positive to say about school or classmates and if they don’t want to go back these are symptoms of missing their old environment.”

Maintaining Contact

Besides talking with the child about entering a new classroom, parents should seek out help from the teacher. “Even before the new child enters the class teachers should have preliminary discussion to prepare the other students,” says Lauter-Klatell. “And after the new student has arrived there should be some discussion about rules and routines.”

Most teachers will pair a new child with a buddy to encourage friendships, but parents should ask teachers to point out potential friends as well. “One reason why I wanted to choose Justin’s classroom was because I wanted to pick a friend to buddy him up with,” says Maura. “I saw one boy who had a similar personality and they did become good friends.”

“It is important for parents to stay in touch with the new school and vice versa,” stresses Lauter- Klatell. Periodic phone calls or conferences may be valuable in establishing a good relationship between home and school. Close communication is just as vital at the preschool level. Preschool director Karen Donaher agrees. “Parents and teachers should be talking constantly,” she says. “The parent should plan on attending the first day at a new preschool or daycare. Enter with the child. Make it a shorter than usual day and then work up to a full-time schedule.”

Donaher also recommends sending in a family picture for the child to place in his or her cubby and a special something to hold on to during naptime. 

Justin’s transition to his new school was successful. He completed second grade with glowing recommendations from his teacher.  

“A child in a new school can feel out of control,” says Simons. “Support him or her during this time. Model a long-range outlook. Remind your child that with any change there are opportunities to develop new skills, make new friends, become involved in a new community. These are all good for their future development.” 

Top Transfer Tips

You and your child do not have to make the school transition alone. Some school districts have set up support groups for new students. 

• Before enrolling your child in a new school, call the building principal or the superintendent’s office for information on these groups.  

• Contact the local chapter of the Parent/Teacher Association for information on school and extracurricular activities.

• Consider volunteering in the school as a lunchroom monitor, librarian, or office helper to familiarize yourself with your child’s new routine and friends.

• If you are concerned that your child will have difficulty coping with the changes moving to a new school brings, arrange a meeting with the school psychologist to discuss strategies to make things easier.

Susan Solomon Yem is an internationally published writer specializing in parenting, education, and women’s issues.