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Sonoma Family Life Magazine

A Little Levity

Sep 06, 2015 12:00AM

Sonoma Family Life's very own humorist, Sebastopol mom Holly Hester, gives you a glimpse of her day. Look for her writing at riotranch.com and, soon, on our site!

Woman Saves Earth by Bursting into Flames

 I live in Sebastopol where if you want to fit it, you better walk the hippie walk and talk the crunchy talk. Conversations must be peppered with “Namaste” and “That’s really resonating with me” and jeans should have bell-bottoms so large you can fit a small dog comfortably up your pant leg. Tank tops should be worn braless and if you have a child older than seven, you are encouraged to breast feed them in the town square. Unkempt beards are worn at all times (for men and women) and bonus points are awarded to anyone sporting a full body tattoo of an obscure Hindu god.

I don’t do any of these things, but I manage to blend in with the natives because of one very important thing – I’m really big into saving the Earth. You know that woman you see walking into Whole Foods carrying reusable grocery bags and sipping a mason jar full of nasty looking tea? That’d be me. I have three kids and I want to do everything I can to give them a bright, rosy, and wonderful future.

This is the reason why we don’t have air conditioning at our house.  It wastes electricity and uses a lot of natural resources.  My husband and I painted the roof of our home white to reflect the sun and usually we have a nice coastal breeze most afternoons. I hardly ever notice that we don’t have air conditioning EXCEPT for one time of year – right now.  I was horrified last night when I saw the forecast – 99, 97, 93, 91 – which means all week long I’m going to be sitting in a hot, hippie stew. Does my family find it appetizing to see me cooking dinner in a bikini?  No, not really.  Do my children enjoy their mother cooling off with a bag of frozen peas in her armpit? I doubt it. But, hey, making the world a better place isn’t always pretty. It takes sacrifice… and sometimes a trip to the nice cold mall to have dinner at the food court.

I’ll leave my bikini at home.