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Sonoma Family Life Magazine

To Sleep in Peace

Dec 09, 2018 12:00AM

By LJ Kunkel

What do moms want for their holiday gifts?

That’s easy. Every mom’s automatic response is something along the lines of Oh, I don’t need anything for me. I just want my family to be healthy and happy!

Although that’s very true, we’re kinda lying through our teeth. That may be all we need to satisfy the basics. But let’s be real—if we were to reveal our deepest desires, these would make the list.

I would like:

1. To sleep in. Although waking up at 5 a.m. with excited little loudlings jumping on my unprepared gut is thrilling, I really would like another hour of sweet oblivion before I need to think about cleaning up all the wrapping paper off the floor.

2. Energy. Can anybody get me some kind of magic boost to negate the effects of sleep deprivation, hormones, and unending laundry? No? Okay. A pot of coffee will do then.

3. For the Scotch tape to stop disappearing. I would also like the magnets to stay on the refrigerator for an entire day.

4. For the toys to put themselves away. And stay there for more than five minutes, please.

5. A delicious warm meal. Not prepared (or cleaned up) by me.

6. The dishes done. I don’t care if it’s a kid, a husband, an elf, or a reindeer who does them. If the sink is empty and everything is clean, dry, and (preferably unbroken) in the cabinets, that will add a lot of joy to the world!

7. A nap. A real one. Not half-dozing while holding a baby and trying to tune out the older kids attacking each other.

8. A massage. Oh yes. Preferably immediately preceding number 7. I’d like it all-out, with soothing oil, aromatherapy, darkness, and silence. Lots of silence.

9. To know where the heck all the missing socks went. I need closure!

10. Alone time. If you’re an introvert, you understand how hard it is to recharge when you are never alone. C’mon, guys, can I at least pee in peace today without someone pounding on the door?

11. Peace on Earth. Or at least in this house. No fighting over who got the better presents.

12. No pee on the floor. Whether from the dog, the potty-training toddler, or any male’s bad aim.

13. Chocolate. If you want to actually buy me something, this is a great option—minus the little moochers asking for a bite. You could get me some wine, too, while you’re at it. And if you could include some kind of spell to keep all the calories off my thighs, that would be super!

14. Hugs and kisses. Yes, I do mean from the fam, not Hershey (although I’ll take those, too). 

Adapted from original on, permission to reprint.

LJ Kunkel is a fitness trainer and coffee addict who spends most of her time chasing 3 boys and 20 chickens. See more from her at