Egg Hunt 101
Apr 01, 2019 12:00AM
By L. J. Kunkel
1 Easter egg hunts are solid proof your kids can find things if they really want to.
2 They're also totally capable of picking things up and putting them in the appropriate container. Use this fact later to reason with them about cleaning their rooms. Oh wait, nope, that won't work. Kids don't do common sense.
3 Easter is starting to feel as big as Christmas. Decorated food, gift baskets, a life-sized character to make your kids cry, the quest for a sugar coma, the need for multiple gatherings (because one egg hunt is just not enough). I thought I left all that stress behind at the start of the year!
4 The Easter bunny is creepy as all heck. I don't blame the kids for crying. I can't look into his soul-sucking rabbit eyes. Let's fire him and take pictures with cute, real bunnies instead.
5 If you stock up on candy when it's on sale after the holidays, you can add an extra festive touch with plastic eggs full of chocolate Santas!
6 If you have a hunt at your place, you'll discover all the unfound eggs the next time you mow the lawn. And those will be the ones you had put money in. #facepalm
7 You can take advantage of this whole concept any time of year. Just tell your older kids you hid a golden egg in the yard with $20 in it. (Whether you actually do this is up to you and your conscience.) You'll have the house to yourself for a couple hours and your kids will get some exercise. Double win!
8 This all makes zero sense. What do eggs, bunnies, and sugar overdoses have to do with the Resurrection?
9 Easter is a parental oxymoron. Any other time we yell, "What are you doing? Don't pick that up!" But on Easter we encourage them to grab all the food they can find (usually from complete strangers) off the dirty ground.
10 I'm not complaining, though. Parent tax law says I get 30 percent of the candy cache. And I get to pick the good ones. I am okay with this.
L. J. Kunkel is a fitness trainer who spends most of her time chasing her 3 boys and 20 chickens. See more from her at fitmixmom.com.