By Sarah Lyons

Children learn how to love, play, interact, and resolve conflict through the bonds formed with their parents. As they mature, those skills grow through shared experiences with parents and peers. Here are some easy ways to strengthen the parent-child bond, and inspire kids to expand their horizons outside of home.

Discover what your child is interested in. If your child enjoys reading, sign up for a library reading program, or have a two-person book club of your own. If your child loves sports, make game night a family event and cheer on their team via a local little league. Or, form a family team and hone your athletic skills in the yard on weekends. If art is their forte, research learning opportunities at city museums and rec centers.

Incorporating your child’s interests into everyday tasks is also a bonding opportunity. Have a young foodie on your hands? A cooking class for kids leads to grocery shopping and meal prep together as a family. For the child enamored with nature, botanical garden experiences can prepare you for your own home planting.

Experiencing extracurricular activities with parents and peers teaches children life skills such as how to share, follow rules, and manage conflict. Such playtime gives your child a safe place to share their feelings and express worries, too. “My son would always open up when we played catch. We had some great conversations playing together,” Angela Leever, mom of three, said.

Make moments count. For the busy parent, bonding can happen during spare moments. Amy Siebert, mom of two, suggests talking to your kids while you are in the car. “We spend a lot of time driving between activities. That’s where our best conversations happen.” 

If you truly enjoy activities together, a stronger bond will naturally form. “When they show interest in a sport, music, games, hobby, or even a TV show, I will find free time to do it together,” said Michelle Lyons, mom of three. “I have found that while they are doing something they enjoy they are more likely to talk about other things in their life.”

Communicate. Besides supporting and being part of their activities, parents can bond with children through targeted communication. It is likely your children know you love them but how often do you tell them? Saying I love you to your child has powerfully positive effects for them. 

Try not just saying you love them, but tell them why. “I love you because you are so fun to be around” or “I love you because you care about others.” Words of affirmation give kids the self confidence they need to face the world, and understanding parents love them no matter what is especially important when a child is struggling. If your child makes a mistake, let them know you are there to love and support them through the challenges that they may face.

Put down your phone and talk to your child. Show them that they are your number one priority. If you have a task that needs to be done, ask them to let you finish it and when it’s complete, give your child your full attention. 

If you have multiple children, it can be hard to spend one-on-one time with them. Set aside time to go on a “date” with each of your children so you can connect and check in with what they have going on. Ask them open-ended questions about their thoughts, their relationships, and their activities, and then really listen to the answers. Mom of three, Carrie Miller said, “Our most meaningful conversations happen before bedtime. It’s always worth the extra time, even when I’m tired from a long day.”

When you commit to making your child a priority, they will feel important and it will help to strengthen your relationship. When you support them in outside activities, they learn that their interests are a priority to you, too.

Most of these ideas are not profound or difficult to do, they just take a little planning and intentionality. Over time, without even trying, the bonds will be built and your child will have a foundation of love and support from not only their parents, but hopefully from the peers with whom they share common interests, as well. 

Sarah Lyons is a Midwestern mom of six kids, including triplets. She enjoys bonding with her kids over reading, sports, movies, and games.